Looky! I have a LUMP!

Now, before you start thinking that something terrible has happened or that there is some medical issue I’m about to tell you about, please relax. That’s not what this post is about. Although, I happen to love supporting non-profit organizations and things if I can, and breast cancer is something that has affected family members and friends. So if you want to help fund free mammograms with just the click of your mouse (no credit card needed this time), click here.

If you haven’t heard, my sister (in-law), Rachel, has started living with us. We went to my Zumba class, came home and showered (because MAN did we stink), and then made “dinner”. Mara isn’t the greatest of eaters, so her dinners generally consist of pieces of something substantial and fatty and then a LOT of fruit or vegetable because that’s what she likes. I know, I can’t complain, right? So for dinner, she had 3 bites of leftover turkey brat/sausage, a slice of cheese, a pear, and a plum.

In addition to a late night, last night was a study night at our house. Josh was taking some practice tests downstairs, which was why dinner was a rush. We rushed to make it and rushed upstairs to eat it. As we began eating, Mara grabbed the plum – the first she’s had—and took a few bites as Rachel was coming up the stairs. Mara then ran to the stairs, still holding her plum, and said, “Look Rach. I have lump…..a puh?....It’s a Lump!” We loved it, and although I corrected her once, I thought it was too cute to really stop her from saying it.

The rest of the night consisted of her talking about how much she loves lumps and that pears were good too. She didn’t like the sausage, and I had to nearly force feed her the 3 bites she did take. I am seriously in need of some good and EASY recipes, especially some that Mara would enjoy. Any suggestions? Until then, we may be eating lots of lumps around here.

The one about what you’ve all been wanting to ask, but haven’t….

“Have you guys thought about having more kids?”
I know, simple question, right? But whenever I hear it, I feel like minutes go by without anything coming out of my mouth. Sometimes, I even feel like at that moment, I should turn, run away, and hide behind the nearest big thing. Sometimes it’s because I just don’t feel like talking about it again; sometimes it’s because I just don’t know what to say. Sometimes I handle it with no problems, and others, I can’t seem to even open my mouth without the tears starting.

So in answer to your question, here goes…… OF COURSE we’ve thought about it. We probably started thinking about it even before Mara was born. As you may know, when I was pregnant with Mara, I had a “little” case of morning sickness that landed me in the ER with iv’s and medication for the rest of my pregnancy. I made best friends with the toilet bowl, pulled over more times than I can count on my way to work, and carried bags and gum with me everywhere I went. This didn’t end…until Mara was born. I was running 3 miles a day before we found out we were pregnant; two weeks later, I could barely walk up the stairs with Josh holding me up. I was that weak. So when we started talking seriously about getting pregnant again (last summer), it was a scary time for both of us. Of course we wanted another baby, but the 9 months of pure awfulness?

We decided to try around the holidays, and on January 15, I started throwing up. I was about 3 weeks pregnant. I remember having customers in town soon after finding out and being out to dinner with them, sick the entire time. I threw up the next week, and then the rest of the week seemed okay to me…not better or worse. Just blech! I had called to set up my first few appointments, and since I obviously find out early on when I’m pregnant, I had to wait about a month before being seen (at the normal 8 week visit). And then, I started feeling better. I was still tired, but the vomiting stopped. This was not normal, and I knew it. I called the doctor and went in for blood work, which showed that I was definitely pregnant. Something still didn’t feel right, so the doctor put me on Progesterone just to be safe.

The weeks passed, and I spoke to a few close friends about my feelings. I was beginning to question what was going on in my body. I tried my hardest to have faith and be at peace, and I honestly felt that I was prepared for whatever would happen at the time. The day of the first ultrasound came, and as I lay on the table with Josh in the room, I knew what they were about to tell us. Our little one did not develop passed 6-7 weeks, and I was supposed to be 10 weeks pregnant. It had stopped progressing, and there was nothing we could do.

In the months since February, I have really struggled with this miscarriage. I haven’t wanted to talk about it, but at the same time, I have. I have debated innumerable times whether or not to post about it, and then, I decided that this is something that I write for me. It’s my blog, and I’ll post about my feelings. So let me tell you that miscarriage totally sucks. Yes, I have learned spiritually from this experience. Yes, I think that Josh and I have another connection that has made us stronger in our marriage. And Yes, I know that I just cherish every moment with Mara even more. But miscarriage really does totally suck.

So in answer to the question that you may have been wanting to ask but haven’t- or in the case of some, the question you may have already asked and haven’t received an answer- of course we want more children. And we’ll be so excited when the time comes that we can have another. It’s just kind of a hard subject to deal with right now.

Now, on another note—that’s not nearly as depressing—our lives have been filled with so much GOODNESS right now. Yes, we’re stressed. Yes, Josh is studying his brains out with chemistry this and biology that. Yes, applications are a nightmare…and SOO exciting at the same time. And yes, application fees are enough to have caused us to have a conversation about organ harvesting, but it’s a good time.

Mara is getting to be such a big girl. She’s been potty trained for about 8 months now, and she is so fabulous at going potty. The girl LOVES to swim, and she does a great job. She loves to jump in All.By.Her.Self! She floats and kicks and blows bubbles, and you know I beam every time I see her do it. She’s also developed a little sassy streak. The other day, she was in the car with my mom when she had to go potty. Mara told her, and my mom said, “Oh, man!” because they had just left the house. Mara quickly responded with, “Don’t you ‘Oh, Man’ me!” I thought it was so funny!

And finally, my sister (in-law) has moved in with us for a while. We love having her, and Mara has loved having Aunt Rachie at home…..plus the fact that we have a puppy now!

Ants in my pants

Man, can I just say how excited and nervous I am at the same time? I have looked forward to and dreaded this moment for a long time, and now it's here! I feel like I did right before a piano recital, or dance recital, or huge showchoir competition, or big test. You'd think that we were approaching a really big event in our lives or something.......

MCAT.
Josh.
8:00 AM.
Saturday.

It feels like some hugely anticipated ESPN fight, and I'm the girl outside the ring in the skirt who goes running up whenever something bad happens to my man. Okay, so actually I think that's a scene from one of the Karate Kid movies. Still....It's huge. And my guy's totally going to kick it's butt.

May 6th is right around the corner...

As some of you may know, I'm pretty passionate about politics...especially this year. WOW! So fun! I love this exciting time we're in, with everything still being so close. It's pretty exciting that our state can actually be an important part of the process this year!

Without divulging too much, I'd like to stress the importance of voting. While I have been very involved with volunteering for my candidate of choice this year and have discussed this in-depth with my family, I haven't really shared my passion about my candidate with many others....especially at church. Although my moral and religious beliefs make up a large part of who I am, my political beliefs tend to differ from a lot of my peers at church. So when someone from church asked me the other day about why I supported my candidate, I was a bit surprised. I figured Josh must have discussed my involvement with the campaign and volunteering. He hadn't.

So I'm brought to my thought for the day. While it's important to vote, it's more important to make an informed decision. When I was asked about my candidate, I felt so grateful that I had been able to research the beliefs, the plans, and the background of that person...and volunteer to spread the word about that person. While, sure, there are plenty of people I would have rather selected for president, of the choices we have been given, I'm glad I have been able to do my research and pick who I like.

I work with a lady who has picked a different candidate, and from the conversations I have overheard (I haven't participated in discussing this at work either), she's chosen this person because of commercials and because her friends chose this person. (insert cyber eye roll here)

So for today, let's make informed decisions. I don't care who you vote for, but please, be informed. For all you Hoosiers, May 6th is the day. And if you need any help with researching any of the candidates, I can send you some links of websites for any of them...because I care about politics, but I care about my friends more. :)

Blog about whatever you want week

I've decided that I'm going to start a mini-blog-revolution over here in our little piece of blogland. A friend recently put into words something I've been feeling for quite a while. The bottom line of her comments was that Blogland really isn't real. It's really just what we choose to share with others, and generally it's only the positive, happy, good things of our lives that we choose to share......leading us to her point that it's not really real. Our lives are filled with ups and downs. The great moments when our kids sing songs and pick flowers, and the terrible times when we're sick with sick kids and husbands are going through finals and the roof is leaking and writers' strike has kept your favorite shows from appear for Months!

So, in honor of my friend, who shall remain nameless--unless she decides to out herself in the comments section--I'm starting a 'blog about whatever you want week'. It's a moment to share what's on your mind...from stinky diapers to potty training woes. From leaky rooves to dirty laundry; from broken dishwashers to distructive pets. I want to hear it all this week. Because, let's face it, in the spirit of 'keepin it real', a month is just pretty unrealistic!

Feel free to post about it on your blogs, or just share something in the comments. I want to hear what your thoughts are.

Making a comeback

Sorry for those who check frequently, or checked frequently; I have been down for a while. But I talked to a good friend today who suggested I make a comeback. I've been thinking about it, but honestly, I'm at the point where I'm just trying to get up the courage to tackle the last Two.Whole.Months of no blogging. Where in the world has the time gone? And where in the world to I start? Do I actually try to cover everything that took place like I normally try to do and just keeping shoving and shoving and shoving it all into a neverending post that no one with a life will ever finish in one sitting? Or, do I just pick up where I left off and just cover the basics? Or do I just not cover anything and start now? Decisions, decisions. So while I'm still deciding, enjoy a picture or two of the lovely girl who actually just fell asleep on her own. Maybe I should just make this a 'blog every day for a month' month.

She loved her new swimming suit and rain boots and rain coat (on the floor) from her Abuelita. She danced around all night in these when they came in the mail just for her.

This big girl went down the hill all by herself. Daddy was at the bottom to catch her. She LOVES sledding and asked me the other day if Daddy would pull her on her sled behind his bike. But she loves her bike trailer too...and it's safer, which is a good thing.

She call this her "favorite Book of War-men". I think it's so cute! You can tell her excitement.

And finally...Josh took this picture, and I didn't really want to take one at the time because I was doing dishes....but I chopped my hair. 10 Inches for Locks of Love.

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